Free Tiger’s Wood

Ok… I resisted this as long as I could but I feel that someone has to stick up for poor Tiger Woods. I know… I know… how could I or anyone feel bad for Tiger?! As I have been forced to watch this saga unfold since even my beloved ESPN won’t give it a rest I have developed the mind set that Tiger was set up to fail from the very beginning. Let me break it down for you:

*Tiger has money like Oprah Winfrey… money is a huge aphrodisiac! I would bang Oprah… rich Oprah not poor country ass Oprah but you get my point.
*Beautiful women of various degrees of moral fiber throw themselves at the guy. So he slept with 12 women??? How many thousands has he turned down??? If you work the numbers it probably comes out to 99.9% of the time he has been faithful based on the number of women he has the opportunity to hump and times when he actually strayed. No one is perfect.
*He is the most famous athlete on the planet. Call me old fashion but chicks still dig jocks! Even golfers!

*The guy spends 200 days a year on the road! That’s time away from his wife with whom he is only supposed to share physical intimacy. It can get lonely out the road. I attended a conference in Poughkeepsie NY for 3 days once without my wife and I almost went crazy and ran up a huge pay per view movie bill and no one was even hitting on me.

The world needs to get off Tiger’s nuts! His wife has every reason to be angry and heart broken… but should she be surprised??? I wasn’t surprised and I don’t know the guy. Now sponsors with the exception of Nike are either dropping him or re-evaluating their relationship with him. Really?! I am not a golfer but I can tell you that I have watched golf on television from time to time simply because Tiger was playing. Did I watch it because I thought he was a clean living, morally correct, and ethically perfect human being??? No I watched him because he knocks the shit out of a golf ball and plays better then anyone else out there swinging the clubs. Whenever Tiger decides to return to competition I will watch him again. I am sure he will still amaze me with his play.

Let’s talk about these women… and his ‘relationships’ with them. One of his alleged conquests Jamie Jungers was on a national television show reading from the article in the New York Post about her affair with Tiger. The Headline Read: Mistress: “Tiger Paid Me”. Someone should explain (in a nice way) to Ms. Jungers that if you are sleeping with a married man and he is paying you then you aren’t a lover, mistress, or even a friend. I believe the correct word is prostitute. Jaimee Grubb, Cori Rist, Rachel Uchitel, and even porn star Holly Sampson are now either going public about their ‘relationships’ or are being linked with Tiger. My confusion about the alleged affairs is this; If you are really the special lady in Tiger’s life and your relationship is intimate and based on true feelings of love then why save text messages like a teenage girl with a crush or save naked pictures like some closet case in need of spank material?! Why come out in public and say; “Me too I was one of Tiger’s humps.” Why disgrace and embarrass yourself? I would suggest that the reason for this was that they didn’t see Tiger as a lover, friend, or future life partner. They saw Tiger as a paycheck.

The greatest tragedy in this whole affair is that the world now knows his off the links game is no where near his game on the links. Someone should have told Tiger that when you are worth a Billion dollars and you are the most famous athlete in the world then marriage is the last thing you should ever consider. Marry when you are in your 50’s. He should have bought Ms. Elin a beautiful house put it in her name and stayed there whenever he was in town. He could’ve had a child with her if he wanted her to be the mother of his children. But never… ever marry… if the relationship ended up going to shit (& it appears it has) then he could let her keep her house and pay support and still be a part of his kids lives and not be getting crucified like he is now. Elin is renegotiating the pre-nuptial agreement. Rumor has it she want 5 million up front and 55 million more if she stays with him another 2 years. Ouch! C’mon Elin 60 million dollars… someone has a high opinion of themselves… This is not good for Tiger.

I have spoken to many people about the Tiger issue. One Old School Player told me that Tiger got in trouble because he didn’t know the rules of the game. The rules of the game as they were explained to me from this Old School Player are as follows:

1. Never bang a girl younger then 30. Young girls do dumb shit and jam you up.
2. If you are married then only hook up with married women. They have something to lose too and are more discreet as a result.
3. Do not keep daily communications with your hook up. In fact this Old School Player told me he doesn’t have email or a cell phone. When you don’t have those things it is easier to disappear and minimizes the risk.
4. Disclose up front what you are looking for… if it’s sex then say so… don’t lie to get laid it will always come back to bite you in the ass.
5. The last thing he told me was if caught… deny everything, admit to nothing, and make counter accusations.

Makes me wonder if Tiger had my circle of friends if this would’ve ever made the paper or taken away valuable sports time on ESPN??? His current group of friends are feckless .

Tiger being chased by a golf club wielding chick at the Houston Texans at Jacksonville Jaguar game on Sunday December 6, 2009 .

Tags: aphrodisiac, Cori Rist, Elin, espn, feckless, Free Tiger's Wood, golf, golfers, Holly Sampson, Jaimee Grubb, Jamie Jungers, jocks, lover, mistress, nike, Old School Player, Oprah, prostitute, Rachel Uchitel, spank material, tiger woods